My experience at Chili's was instantly interesting as the lumberjack who served us provided our table the opportunity to play a round of: Amish, Muslim or Hipster. This is where we guess, or imagine anyways, which the bearded man is: (Amish, Muslim or Hipster.)
I immediately went to Amish. Our server's beard looked to be older than my cat. (Scramble is three if you're following that closely.) It was a good foot in length, black with wiry ridges combed downward like new cotton.
I imagined our server fresh off the wagon, mocking his homies and his Mennonite cousins as he took the gig serving up Terlingua chili pots, tacos and burgers to the good people of Monrovia and Arcadia, set loose from a life of privation and godliness. He seemed in a good mood, not particularly rushed or eager to please, but attentive in his way.
David was with me. Amish, for sure. Amber took a different path and concluded with utter certainty he was a hipster. I suppose skin as dewy white as our server's is not likely to draw Muslim often.
The classic bacon burger was well named. If a bacon burger is classic, then this was one so it too must have been classic. I was hungry-plus when I ate it and I may have enjoyed the bread most of all. As a girlfriend I once had said of me, I am a bread-eater. (Her name was Gaye and she was more insightful than you might think for a girl named Gaye.)
The fries and the strawberry lemonade were unremarkable. That I could pay for my classic bacon burger without having to wait on my Amish waiter to show up was stupendous. I'm all for keeping humans working but this machine made me squeal a little when I realized what it would do for me. I pulled up my own bill, separated out my own food so David could pay the balance, which belonged to him, and swiped my card right there at the table. I was done with it. Whoa. Chili's is nothing if not a modern restaurant and I am a 21st Century Digital Boy. (Gen-Y has nothing on me.)
Funny thing too, towards the end of our meal I noticed the bartender was also sporting a lengthy beard. Where was I? Was this Chili's or had I magically transported into the hinterlands of Canada where Lumberjacks take odd jobs serving up classic burgers and cocktails when not out deforesting the joint. I scrutinized the mixologist briefly. His clean shaven head had sheen galore and yet that beard. It rivaled our servers and I guessed they were dense beard deep in a death match whiskerino. If so our Amish server would surely prevail but what if the bartender's shiny head won style points? Our server sported the barbershop special Doo of the day. You know the one all of Gen-Y is presently wearing, shaved on the sides, bushy, moist and Big Boy coifed on top?
Come to think of it, Amber wins. He was a hipster, wasn't he? Oh well, I still hope he wins the whiskerino.
Chili's Classic Bacon Burger - Rating: Setting - 8, Presentation - 6, Burger - 50. OVERALL - 64
David's Rating - 60
Chili’s-Ok. I know what you’re thinking. Chili’s? Really? Chili’s. Yep. This week’s burger comes to you courtesy of Chili’s, the casual dining restaurant chain better known for fajitas and soup then a great burger. I ordered the classic Bacon Burger. Setting (1 to 10) 5. Walk into Chilli’s and you walk into your run of the mill large chain restaurants. You know the kind…20 pieces of Flair. We sat in the bar area. A super-hot bartender started her shift. Wait. That might be the beginning of a different blog. Monrovia’s cutest ladies behind the Bar? Anyway. Our server was on so we got drinks and our food order super quick. 2 extra setting points for that. Presentation ( 1 to 10) 6 The burger comes with a generous helping of fries fried in their own little fry basket. It’s a decent size burger. Nothing out of the ordinary. It is so ordinary, that is about the only adjective I can come up with to describe it. Maybe a beer will get the creative juices flowing. Burger ( 1 to 80) 45 + 2 for the garlic pickles. I ordered the Classic bacon burger in an attempt to judge each burger place on equal terms and the fact that I love me some bacon. Again, ordinary is what comes to mind. It wasn’t terrible. No Ecoli. The bacon was good, but nothing special…with the exception of the garlic pickles. Now everyone who knows me knows that after bacon, garlic is my next, most favorite food. They have these garlic pickles at Chili’s that are really good. For some ungodly reason, they feel it necessary to only give you two of these delicious pickles, (in chip form,) for you to enjoy on your burger. Maybe the cost of pickles is more than I can fathom. I don’t know, but they should give you more of those bad boys. So I have them plus 2 for the pickles. To close out this review, if you’re hungry and Chili’s is around. It’s ok. If you are craving a great burger to knock your socks off…go somewhere else.
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